Famous people and the places they should cruise to

Famous people tend to get around a bit. Whether it’s acting roles, sampling gourmet dishes or presenting some of our favourite geographical and travel-based shows, their jobs take them to every corner of the globe. This got me thinking on what the perfect cruise destination would be for some of our celebrities, for their benefit and admittedly, for our own amusement, too.

The Caribbean – Johnny Depp

Whether he likes it or not, Johnny Depp will now be forever associated with his most commercially successful role as Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Naturally then, it follows that far from being fed up of the place, Mr Depp would look forward to spending some time in the region relaxing with a rum and coke without having to worry about eyeliner, headgear and perfecting his swaggering gait.

The Arctic Circle – Bear Grylls

Ok, so he’s been seen in sunnier climes of late on Channel 4’s The Island with Bear Grylls but really, I think the Born Survivor himself would be right at home on an Arctic cruise. The icy wilderness poses the ultimate survival challenge and it’s easy to imagine Mr Grylls leaping overboard into icy waters to wrestle a polar bear or three. (OK, I’m exaggerating just a little, so perhaps just the one polar bear).

The Mediterranean – Greg Wallace

Self-confessed Masterchef pudding-lover Greg Wallace would be right at home on a Mediterranean cruise. With France, Italy Greece and Spain all in the mix when it comes to itineraries, there’s some seriously good cuisine to sample in the region. Indeed, one of Greg’s favourite recipes involves Gnocci, so a Mediterranean cruise which calls in Italy would give him the opportunity to see how the local specialities compare.

The Norwegian Fjords – Neil Oliver

As presenter of both Coast and Vikings, where else for our favourite roaming historian and archaeologist than the fjords, where he’s guaranteed to have his fair share of both? The fjordlands are of course rich in Viking history and are home to one of the world’s most spectacular and dramatic coastlines, too.

New Zealand – Dame Helen Mirren

You’d imagine jet-setting actress and national treasure Dame Helen Mirren would by pretty well travelled and indeed she is. However, in a Q&A session on her own website, Dame Helen states that she’s never been to New Zealand and would love to visit. Where better then, for our favourite evergreen acting export go? As godmother to P&O’s Ventura, she’s no stranger to cruise ships, however, she’d need to take a cruise on Aurora if she wanted to experience New Zealand with the line.

South America – Michael Palin

Arch-traveller Michael Palin loves travelling so much that he’s got his own website dedicated to it and all the places that he’s been. Indeed, we’d be hard-pressed to find somewhere for him to cruise to that he hasn’t already experienced. Considering he appeared in a film of the same name directed by fellow-python Terry Gilliam, it took him a long time to actually travel to Brazil, which he did only a couple of years ago in Palin’s Brazil. In his own words, it “shines out as country like no other”, so perhaps a leisurely South American cruise would be just the thing on which for hime to relive his experiences.

Far East – Karl Pilkington

On the other end of the ‘learned travel correspondent’ scale, Karl Pilkington’s made a success out of his cultural indifference, ignorance or sometimes both in Sky’s An Idiot Abroad. Notoriously reluctant to be dragged out of his Pie and chips comfort zone, what other kind of cruise could there be for Karl than one which would take him to the Far East, where he’d perhaps be able to re-assess his previously documented disgust for Chinese food. Asia’s abundant in weird and wonderful dishes, so he would have plenty of opportunity to give it another go.